Another Repeat Offender!

Cheese and rice, Rick Santorum. What are we going to do with you??

Have you seen this bit of nonsense?

Oh sweet baby jesus, if this guy gets elected president the United States will be a laughing stock.

weird science

Happy Monday loyal reader(s)! It's a good day for a slapping. I'm feeling a little lazy today, so instead of writing, I'm going to direct you to this little bit of crazy right here: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/foghorn-load-jump.php

And a big fat slap in the face to science!

Dear loyal reader(s)

Half of the daily bitchslap team is going on vacation tomorrow (slap!)(I kid!), which leaves the onus of entertaining the masses on me for the next week. It's a big responsibility, slapping a bitch, but I promise to make you proud of me, mama! Stay tuned...

I admit it, I'm a big fan of reality TV. And, until they lost my all time favorite (Project Runway), I loved reality TV on Bravo. But, there is a limit, my friends. The "Real Housewives" have pushed me over that limit. Look at this photo above. Ok. Got it?

There is nothing REAL or HOUSEWIVES about any of these women. They are compromised a not-so delicate balance of silicone, botox and overpriced (and overshort) designer clothing. All of these women have have obsene amounts of money, nannies, housekeepers, maids, cooks, cars, clothes and weaves.

As someone who actually IS a working mom, and was a stay-at-home mom for almost 2 years post baby, the existance of these shows drives me crazy. I'd love to see Bravo pay me over 30,000 a day to follow me around. Think they'd go for it?

Presidential Slap - part deux

Dear Rick Santorum,
I disliked you all the years you spent representing the great state of Pennsylvania as a senator. I simply cannot stand by and allow you to take over the nation. I will fight you and your ridiculous propaganda with every fiber of my being.

Are you seriously telling me that as a potential president of the United States, you want the world to remember you as that guy who said, “Satan has his sights on the United States of America!” I mean really. Satan? What about Voldemort, is he coming for us too? Melkor? The Riddler?

I don't know about you, but when I hear a potential leader of one of the most powerful nations in the world speak of the big bad wolf coming to blow our house down, it makes me a little nervous. You, sir, deserve a good slapping. 

Someone needs to save that allowance for therapy.

First, an apology to our loyal readers for the lack of slappage.  The evil germs floating through our area have been hitting us hard.  But, we rested, drank orange juice and are feeling ready to slap!

That being said... awhile back we ran across this article Barbie World.  Ok, so I really don't get this in ANY way.  This takes stage moms/pageant moms to a whole new level of disturbing.  This is truly sickening.   And this woman is either 1) absolutely insane 2) pulling all of this for publicity.   Either way, she is really messing her kid up royally, in ways I am sure she doesn't even realize fully yet.

So, here's to you "Barbie Mom", a big, fat, plastic slap. 

Today's slap goes to...

...People who hate themselves so much they will use any substance, no matter how bizarre or toxic, to escape from... themselves.

Have you heard of people using "bath salts" to get high? No? I hadn't either until a potential patient of mine was flagged for "bath salt abuse." Now I'm not talking about actual bath salts (the kind you use for, you know, a bath). No, the bath salts I'm talking about are these synthetic stimulants that people can buy on line or in a shady store near you. In many states, buying these substances is 100% legal. They might get you high, but they might also make you violent, psychotic, or very very sick.

Doesn't anyone just drink anymore? Sheesh. You're freaking me out people. Quit the synthetic marijuana, the paint thinner, the aerosol cans... Is life really THAT BAD?

Slapping you all.

Prop 8



So today we are taking a stand with the 9th US District Court of Appeals (9th District)  and slapping down Proposition 8.  

Prop 8, for those of you not aware, is/was the California ban on gay marriage.  Since then, it's been thrusting the issue of gay rights into the national spotlight, encouraging wide spread rights campaigns (like the NoH8 campaign) and debates across the country. This GLORIOUS decision by the court was summarized by Judge Stephen Reinhardt:  "Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples...The Constitution simply does not allow for 'laws of this sort'."

So take that Prop 8!  Take your narrow-minded fear and shove it.   Because gay rights are HUMAN rights and two consenting adults should be able to marry whomever they choose.

As the great RuPaul says, Everybody say LOVE.  (And, say SLAP YOU to Prop 8)

Doesn't get much sleezier than this!

Who are we going to slap today, you ask? This guy! What would any rational criminal do when facing prison and the potential loss of his fortune? Adopt his 42-year-old girlfriend, of course! Makes perfect sense. Drive drunk, kill someone in the process, and then play the system so that the deceased family can't take his money. Cream of the creep crop, I tell ya! Slapping you, your "daughter," your attorney and the United States legal system. For f*ck sake.

Like a SLAP

Super bowl Sunday.  I was forced to watch a football game by family, waiting for what seemed like ages for the half-time show.   I was waiting for Madonna, because the girl has been talking some mean game lately (see here and here).   After her "performance", I was underwhelmed to say the least. She looked subdued, almost fell, and her backup dancers were WAY more exciting than she was.   For a woman who is asking her fans to shell out $300 to see her live, I'd expect her to bring it.   But what I got was less compelling than a cheap drag show.

Madge, today's slap goes to you.  If you are so superior to everyone else, you better start performing like it. 

Super SLAP

I just do NOT get the Super Bowl.  Football is 90% of the reason, its a sport I cannot get into no matter how much I try.   The other 10% is the sheer amount of crazy surrounding the bowl.  New TV purchases, oversized pizzas, and constant requests to spend my hard earned money on "block" betting.  And then, after the boring 4 hours are over, we get a week of mulling by fans about the game, the plays, and the commercials.  Meh.  Give me some Stanley Cup action over this monstrosity of a sporting event any day. 

(Slap) the Police!

Slap, slap SLAP the po-lice! <---Imagine I'm singing this Public Enemy style. You got me? Okay, good.

Now, generally speaking, I'm grateful to the men and women who risk their lives on a daily basis to keep the peace and keep us safe. However, there are a bunch of bad apples spoiling the orchard these days: see here, here, and here.

In the latest incident of boys in blue behaving badly, officers stood by and watched as hundreds of angry soccer football fans literally beat the shit out of each other. I mean it, there was crap everywhere ;). Not only did the police do nothing to stop the fighting, they decided it was a good idea to keep the stadium gates locked so that no one could leave. The result? Pandemonium. Read this.and watch the videos. I swear, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried! 

Susan G. Komen gets double slapped!

So, we've already slapped the Susan G. Komen organization here before, but we must not have done so hard enough because they earned another hard one today.

Recently, Susan G. Komen announced it will no longer provide grants or grant assistance to Planned Parenthood (see a full article here:   NPR full story )  What does this mean? Well, it means that Planned Parenthood will have to cut down on providing.... wait for it..... mammograms.  

Just brilliant Susan G.   You want to save the boobies but have ended contribution to fund preventative steps that help do just that.  And why?  Because of a political l inquiry by Congress lead by an anti-abortion representative from Florida.  

This is flabbergastingly frustrating.  

Today, Susan G Komen, your organization gets the first official Daily Bitchslap repeat slappage.