Who are we going to slap today, you ask? This guy! What would any rational criminal do when facing prison and the potential loss of his fortune? Adopt his 42-year-old girlfriend, of course! Makes perfect sense. Drive drunk, kill someone in the process, and then play the system so that the deceased family can't take his money. Cream of the creep crop, I tell ya! Slapping you, your "daughter," your attorney and the United States legal system. For f*ck sake.
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